May 7, 2018

No Excuses

Posted in Emotional Maturity, Personal Image tagged , , , , , at 1:35 am by Yvonne LaRose

A new day is dawning. Time for a new start.

A new day is dawning. Time for a new start.


There comes a time when, after enduring abuse for too long into the times when the support system has disappeared and you’re left with your raw and shredded self esteem. You don’t want to venture into harm’s way again. That means compounding the isolation is avoidance and more living in solitary.

You no longer have self identity. The criticisms, the fault finding, the demeaning language, being told how useless and incompetent your are have taken their toll. You started believing the words and evaluations. In order to no longer be bad at what used to be one of your skills (or a desired goal), you simply don’t do those things anymore.

Now that you’ve broken free of that toxic situation, it’s time to start doing all the right things to regrow and rise to new heights.

First step: Put yourself in the company of positive people. Two or three is a good number to begin with. Make your involvement with them occasional but regular. Being in positive company becomes infectious – the good kind of infection. Become an adventurer. Join a club that’s involved in doing something that’s important to you.

Second step: Dare to do what you’ve been told was not adequate. It doesn’t have to be making the next Venus de Milo. It can be something as simple as working a jigsaw puzzle with a child or writing out the notes from a lecture for a person who couldn’t be present. Without your notes, they will have no idea what happened. Your notes that convey what you heard will be helpful.

Third step: Focus on the activity. Seeing the activity through to completion is the goal. Focus on the finish line. Don’t allow any distractions. Self doubt is a distraction. Fear of failure is a distraction. Fear of embarrassment and ridicule is a distraction. Focus on what needs to be done. Give it your best. Tune in to making certain you’ve done the best you know how to do, mindful of the small details that actually need attention. Your involvement is needed. No excuses for backing out. Focus on what needs to be done.

Next: Make sure you know what’s supposed to be done. First time? Get some exposure to what’s supposed to be done. Practice. Learn what the elements, the parts, of the activity are. Learn to recognize the pieces, the steps, and the order that should be followed to accomplish it. Practice. Become more efficient, more accurate, faster. That can only be done by rehearsing through practice.

No more excuses. The ugliness of the past is just that. Learn from that. Eliminate the opportunities to be vulnerable in the wrong company about the wrong things. You survived. There’s a reason for that. You have more to do and it’s needed. This is your Springtime, the time to start regrowing you. It’s time to find what was good and attractive in the past and redevelop it for the new day, a better day.

No more excuses. Just do what needs to be done. Focus on becoming a positive, healthy person who is needed for all the right reasons. Just do it.

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